Cuise of the Week (Vol. 2)

Having been to Tokyo Disneyland, where they give the spiel in Japanese, I would expect that Hong Kong Disneyland's Jungle Cruise would be in Chinese. Apparently, not so (at least for this video). The quality is not so good, but its worth marvelling at how filled-in the newly opened park's landscaping is - hopefully, no weeds were included.

The Magical Kingdom of Snark (Vol. 1)

Just venturing across the park for a little sci-fi humor (we at the Jungle Cruise recognize that our jokes could use help from any and all sources).

I absolutely love Comic Life - enjoy!

Your Jokes For the Day

Enjoy a little dry humor on me!

My Kingdom for a Striped Awning

Well, I don't actually have a kingdom, but I sure do miss the classic Jungle Cruise boats with their spiffy red awnings. They really shouldn't have done a 50th overlay on the Congo Queen, because it just reminded me of how much more visual appeal the original boat design had. In my opinion, now that they've gone back to different costuming for the Jungle Cruise (as opposed to the matching Indiana Jones-themed gaucho pants the skippers were sporting), it's time to bring the striped awnings back too.

Plus, I've heard they're making a movie - surely they won't keep the current vat-o-khaki trend for the big screen?

Cruise of the Week (vol. 1)

I wonder if the line about the cute and cuddly jungle creatures that latch on for 25 years and slowly bleed you dry ("wouldn't want that, would we") is official spiel. I'd guess not.

"Wave to the hippos"

As I'm sure is true of every Jungle Cruise fan, I have a couple of favorite spiel lines (like the "ancient Cambodian shrine" built by "ancient Cambodian shriners"). But I have to say that my favorite off-the-cuff skipper comment (I doubt it was in the official spiel) comes from a summer trip in 2001.

My friend and I, both Cast Members at the time, had come to the park for the day to celebrate her birthday. Naturally, we took a ride on the Jungle Cruise. Per usual on a summer day, it was busy, and chock-full of tourists. As we entered the hippo pool, our skipper instructed us to "wave to the hippos, wave to the hippos [sigh] . . . 'cause all we're allowed to do is wave to the hippos . . ." The tourists bemusedly wavied, and watched with mild curiosity as my friend and I dissolved into snickers. After all, the line's only funny if you know that the skippers had their guns siezed in the late 1990s, and didn't get them back until just a few years ago. In 2001, all a skipper could do was "wave to the hippos" - no shooting allowed.

Glad to know those days are over.

Howdy Hi!

All you pioneers, buccaneers, souvenirs...

Oh, wait. Sorry. Wrong ride.

Anyways, welcome aboard the Congo Queen, the official vessel of "The Backside of Water," a blog dedicated to my time-sucking love of Disneyland generally, and The Jungle Cruise in particular. I'll be your tour guide, dance instructor, and skipper for the next six days and seven nights, and if you have a low tolerance for corny jokes and cheesy puns, I suggest you abandon ship now. Don't worry, I've heard the water is only 4 feet deep in most places.